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  • Day 33 Weight and Insomnia

    Day 33 Weight and Insomnia

    My husband asked me if I’ve lost weight again this evening. I told him I didn’t know, he knows I don’t get on the scale. He wanted to see what I weighed, and I told him he’d have to ask our son how much I weigh because I didn’t want to know when I stepped on the scale a couple of weeks back.

    (Just for the record, my husband has never cared one iota about my size, and I love him dearly for accepting me for being me. )

    Of course the scale chose that moment to go dead, but first it started talking, saying, “I’m ready.” Well, I didn’t want it to TELL me how much I weighed, so we turned off the speaker after putting in new batteries.

    My husband had me step on and off the scale four times. I don’t know if he was checking to make sure it was working. Then he exclaimed, “Are you SURE you weren’t wearing 10 pounds of change in your pockets last time?”

    AGH! I could feel the “diet head” inside me squealing with joy. I don’t want to make this about losing weight. Although I would dearly love to lose weight. I could stand to lose at least 65 pounds if not more. I know the last time *I* knew what the scale said, it was 225. And I am pretty sure I’ve gained at least 10 pounds since then. Once I had my babies, I got down to my prepregnancy weight of 125 and I looked too thin. Iย  think I would look perfect at 160, even though I am only 5’4″. I am blessed genetically with muscular thighs and buttocks, even though I am not an athlete. Of course this muscle weighs more, so I look thinner than I weigh. When I weighed 125, people couldn’t believe I weighed a pound over 100 or 110.

    There is a part of me that wants to know if I’ve lost weight and how much, and yet I don’t want to satisfy that curiosity because I don’t want to make it about weight. I want to eat to be healthy, to stop feeling depressed, to have joy in life. To have energy and feel alive, instead of just wanting to sleep all the time and veg in front of the computer.

    Speaking of sleep, I have to get to bed soon.

    I had another rough night last night. We have four dogs, but only one comes inside at night. I insist on it. The other three dogs have longer coats and fur, but he’s got short hair. Anyway, he thinks he’s a big boy and can go out with the girls when they start barking. I didn’t want him going out at 11pm, so I growled at him and insisted that he lie down. He sighed but obeyed, only to jump up 15 minutes later. Again I growled, insisted. He complied, but not 15 minutes later he was up again. Finally I got up and let him go out. I know, I know. I shouldn’t have given in and usually don’t, but I needed to get back to sleep! I’d only had 3.5 hours sleep by that time.

    I felt hungry when I got up, so had an avocado. Then I remembered a bill I had to get paid, so I wrote out a check and got it ready to mail. Then I remembered another bill I should pay online and turned on the computer to do that. Next I discovered some weirdness going on in our checking account, so I downloaded the statement and reconciled the account.

    By 2:30am I was hungry again and heated up the leftover green beans with some butter and was eating them when my dh got up for the day (he’s an early, early, EARLY riser) and asked me what was I doing up. I told him I couldn’t sleep and then I went back to bed for 90 minutes and had to get up and get ready for work.

    One of my new GAPS friends suggested I try five almonds [affiliate link] before going to sleep, I may try that just to see if it would help tonight.

    I usually don’t have huge problems with insomnia. It is also “that time” for me so my hormones will act up during this time. I have insomnia maybe once or twice a month, if that. Usually.

    A friend asked me today if I’m losing weight. I told her I honestly didn’t know. My pants and belt are still fitting as they did in the waist. But when they slowly sink down (bad style of pants for my body) they usually ride high on my hips, but now they are straddling my hip bones.

    My stomach feels like the skin is much looser, whereas in the past it has felt taut against the fat.

    My friend asked me if I thought this (GAPS) was working for me, and I told her again about my feet, and how huge that was for me. I can stand for hours in the kitchen and no pain! That alone is worth it!

    One more thing I have been thinking about. I used to suspect that I had a problem with candida. If I have candida, shouldn’t I be experiencing cravings? I am eating some citrus and some fruits, but I wouldn’t say I’m craving them.

    Food report: Breakfast, dh warmed up broth. So delicious, I love that he does that for me, it is such a nice start to the morning. I mentioned my lunch earlier. For dinner I put together some meatloaf-style meatballs. I used about one pound of ground beef, with 1/2 an onion chopped, 1/2 a green bell pepper chopped, 1 teaspoon onion powder, 1 teaspoon garlic powder [affiliate link], 1 teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon pepper, 2 small carrots grated. I browned the meatballs, then poured water into the skillet until it was an inch deep, put a lid on and cooked for about 20 minutes or so. Dh thought they were pretty good.

    I also tried these pancakes from Grain-Free Foodies, but shame shame didn’t follow the recipe exactly and ended up with some mushy something. I thought it was halfway tasty, dh didn’t care of it much at all. He said he doesn’t like cinnamon [affiliate link]. It tastes a little bit like pumpkin [affiliate link] pie to me, so I will save it for leftovers.

    I had better get to bed. I am so thankful it’s the weekend. I have a lot of work to get done this weekend though I wish I could just spend the weekend writing blog posts. I still have so much to say!

    Until tomorrow when we meet again…

    GAPS DIET JOURNEY is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to AMAZON.COM. GAPS DIET JOURNEY is an affiliate for several companies and may be compensated through advertising and marketing channels. Therefore, this post may contain affiliate links.

  • Day 32

    I slept much better last night, although I didn’t get to bed until 9pm. Which is really stupid when you know you are tired all the time as it is, and you know you have to get up at 4am!

    Work is stressful this week. I may have to work Friday in order to get everything done that needs to be completed. I have two deadlines. One of the normal billing, the other is an application that has to be submitted on Friday and the person I’m working with has been out with a family member who had surgery.

    Today I asked my boss if she would be interested in reading the GAPS Guide. I do not know if she would ever want to try it, but I mostly wanted to let her read it because I am sure she is probably interested or curious about what I’m doing. We are going to have to talk eventually about my going to her house to work and her making meals for me to eat, that I can’t/won’t eat.

    Today my husband said doing GAPS doesn’t seem to be helping. I had commented at least we can still have onions [affiliate link] and garlic. And I said at least I think we can. I was frying hamburger (I then seemed to recall frying foods isn’t okay) to make the hamburger burros that he loves. But he can’t tolerate the hot peppers he has always loved so I only put onions and garlic, and onion powder, garlic powder [affiliate link], pepper, salt and just a bit of cumin to flavor the meat. He wanted flour tortillas. When he said it doesn’t seem to be helping, I told him that’s because he’s not doing enough. He must stop eating sugar and he must stop eating grains. He knows this and I am sure he will eventually move closer to full GAPS. If I hadn’t been doing the preparatory work I’ve been doing in the last decade, I am sure I would be having a harder time too.

    For example, I’ve had practice carrying a food bag to keep myself fed when I get hungry. I’ve legalized many foods that just so happen to be on the “non-approved list” and so those foods don’t “glitter” for me anymore. I already know I feel like crap when I eat them, I already learned that.

    Knowing to keep one’s self fed I think is half the battle.

    We haven’t been faithful to having broth every day. My hubby made our broth this morning, so I could have it on my way to work. I love that he did that, and I really appreciate it. I made his lunch for tomorrow, three hamburger patties.

    I had raw almonds [affiliate link] at work today. I brought two pork chops, about half a cup of Cortido, and avocado and four Clementine Cuties. My boss tried a bit of the Cortido.

    Now that I know what I know about die off, I realized that I can’t let just anyone eat my fermented vegetables. They might get diarrhea, think I’ve poisoned them when they are having die off!

    I already mentioned hubby’s dinner. I also steamed about two pounds of fresh green beans. And for my own dinner I sauteed a slice of onion chopped, 1/2 a bell pepper, about 10 fresh mushrooms sliced, and six eggs [affiliate link].

    No, I didn’t eat all six eggs tonight. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I had to make something for myself for lunch tomorrow.

    I have resigned myself to eating my meals cold at work.

    No time for a detox bath tonight.

    I ordered some lotion from Amazon tonight. ShiKai Yuzu Fruit Hand & Body Lotion. I guess I got the very last four pack they had in stock. I paid $15.71 for four 8-ounce tubes. I would have liked to have ordered vanillabut the tight wad in me demanded I go for the less expensive purchase. The vanilla [affiliate link] was $20.57 for the four 8-ounce containers. I also think the coconut but it was MUCH more expensive.

    I was looking for lotions that don’t have parabens. I searched on Google and found the company, ShiKai. They have an ingredients list at the very bottom of this page, click on List of Ingredients to view. I was also impressed by this list of publications they have assembled to share with their customers.

    The Yuzu Fruit Hand and Body Lotion contains the following:

    lotion ingredientsIt has to be better than what I was using. My hands always get dry in the winter and the dryness it is extending up to my forearms since I have been vacillating on what to do about lotion. I have to get something to put on my skin. I tried coconut oil [affiliate link], it doesn’t really help. In fact, sometimes it turns my skin reddish and stings a bit. I suppose that means I’m allergic to it. Sigh.

    This allergy stuff is a bit wearying at time.

    Well, my lotion should arrive by Friday and I can let you know how it’s working out for me. I bought four bottles, which will work out fine. I need a bottle at work, one at home, maybe one in the car. Maybe one as a gift to someone.

    If you happen to know if any of the ingredients is particularly troublesome, please do point it out to me.

    Thanks.

    GAPS DIET JOURNEY is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to AMAZON.COM. GAPS DIET JOURNEY is an affiliate for several companies and may be compensated through advertising and marketing channels. Therefore, this post may contain affiliate links.

  • Day 31

    Long day. I had a rough night again. Similar to the night I had on Day 24. Couldn’t sleep. Felt hungry through the night. I fried some pear slices, they were delectably sweet. I suspected I’d eaten too many cherries on Day 24 which messed with my blood sugar, and now the same thing happened again. Kristy commented that it might be additives on the cherries on Day 24.

    Tired today, but made it through without any coffee [affiliate link]. Usually I’ll have four ounces to perk me up on the days I get too little sleep.

    Lunch was leftover chicken breast, broccoli, carrots, an avocado. I ate the chicken cold and the avocado at room temp.

    Dinner was pork chops, fresh steamed spinach with butter and Cortido sauerkraut.

    Very tired.

    Had beef broth with veggies during the night, with two egg yolks mixed in. Interesting to note I became satisfied at a certain point and didn’t want any more. I know I mentioned this yesterday, but this is significant for me to want to stop when there’s still food left on my plate/bowl?! Like miraculous.

    I have to get to bed. No time for detox bath tonight. My skin on my arms and hands are very dry. Tried using coconut oil [affiliate link] but it didn’t seem to help much. Need to figure out some kind of lotion. Or maybe start drinking olive oil by the quart?

    GAPS DIET JOURNEY is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to AMAZON.COM. GAPS DIET JOURNEY is an affiliate for several companies and may be compensated through advertising and marketing channels. Therefore, this post may contain affiliate links.

  • Day 30 – Wow!

    I am surprised that I’m at Day 30, yet not surprised. This is how fast time flies by.

    I ordered some water kefir grains (on Sunday, she said she would from a lady who has gallons of them. She is selling them for $5 plus $5 shipping. The last time I had water kefir grains they did REALLY good. I think they must like our well water. But then I made kefir using coconut water and they seemed to die after that.

    Today I caught myself twice stopping eating something that I was eating because I was full and didn’t want anymore!! This is something I have been (albeit half-heartedly) working on for at least five years! I have been trying to stop eating when I feel satisfied, consciously making an effort to do that at times, when I would remember. But it seemed as if I were possessed and couldn’t.

    My motto has been, “If it’s on my plate, it’s mine, it’s going down!” How lovely to discover by eliminating certain foods from my diet, this overwhelming compulsion to overeat seems to have subsided.

    I had gotten better at eating less food in the last year, but I would still overeat at times to the point of feeling uncomfortable. I am so thankful for all the body acceptance and food acceptance work I have done in the last decade.

    Being able to avoid such a huge list of foods, well, it almost seems like a miracle, and too good to be true that it is really this, well, I don’t want to say simple, but it has been rather simple. I still wonder, am I just lying to myself? Am I truly craving foods? I don’t think I am lying to myself.

    Today one of my sisters called and she told me she got sick three times last year and had to be down in bed for ten days. She told me she is just miserable all the time. She is always on a diet trying to keep her weight down. She prefers rotation diets. I wonder if she would be open to GAPS. My mom is reading the GAPS Guide and says it is making a lot of sense to her.

    This morning I had Zucchini Scrambled Eggs made with three eggs [affiliate link]. I also had a piece of pork sausage that I made by grinding pork.

    I had a Pumpkin Coconut Smoothie today. I made it at first without the Clementine Cutie and it was decidedly not sweet, so I took it back and added the Cutie and it was more to my liking. This was one of the foods I stopped eating halfway and put it in the fridge to save for later.

    I had to work from home today. I got to bed around midnight last night, and was up this morning at 6:30. I didn’t get enough sleep, and I couldn’t take a nap, otherwise I’d not get enough sleep tonight either. I was on edge much of the day. I took Kava Kava pretty early on this morning, and then three or four hours later I took another. I usually only ever take one tablet a day. I also took a Vitamin B100 Complex because I was feeling so nerve wracked. It is almost “that time” so I think my hormones are having an effect on my nerves.

    Also, my job really stresses me sometimes. Things bother me a lot because they aren’t done correctly. And there is nothing I can do about it. People are going to do what they want, even when I warn them that things should be done another way. And people are going to provide halfway service and I just have to keep patiently being nice and asking one more time when really I’d like to give them a blast.

    YS cooked dinner. Chicken breast with broccoli and carrot slices. I remembered to save back some for my lunch tomorrow. When I won’t be able to use the kitchen to warm my food again because I’m a chicken.

    I should also remember to bring some nuts, or peanut butter [affiliate link] or something.

    I am starting to feel anxious to do the Introduction diet. I find it so interesting that Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride warns that we should not be tempted to go to full GAPS, bypassing the Introduction. I think I prefer Baden’s suggestion of going to full GAPS first, especially for people who are eating a lot ofย  non-approved foods to start with. I am not sure when I will embark on the Introduction.

    Today dh showed ES the spiralizer. He was excited to see the “spaghetti” that it made. Dh also talked to ES about the foods we are eating. ES really loves cheese. He is so sad to not have cheese. I try to explain to him it’s only for a while, but little does he know it might be two years. We are still going slowly with him and eliminating foods. He knows we aren’t buying anymore pasta also. Now, Dh being the main food shopper, he just needs to keep to his word.

    Speaking of my dh, he is still having trouble keeping himself fed. Last night I made four hamburger patties so he could take them with him while out on a job today.

    I guess I had better go. I want to take a detox bath tonight and then crawl into bed early so I can get up with plenty of energy tomorrow.

    GAPS DIET JOURNEY is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to AMAZON.COM. GAPS DIET JOURNEY is an affiliate for several companies and may be compensated through advertising and marketing channels. Therefore, this post may contain affiliate links.

  • Day 29

    Busy, busy, busy. I’ve got to get to bed. Have to work tomorrow. Thought about things all day long to post about, took lots of pictures for upcoming posts, but never got around to make any posts.

    I had some energy today. YS demanded that I start another batch of fermented radishes. He says they taste horrible, but he loves them and is craving them. Not sure what that’s all about. I am glad though that he is willing to try my experiments.

    They do stink up the room when you open the jar. But they taste pretty good.

    Last night I ate my dinner and thought how I should take a photo. YS grilled hamburger on the grill and I slathered on a new concoction-type mayonnaise that I made. It was very creamy tasting and really made the meal for me. I also had some of my Cortido which was sour enough yesterday. Oh, and YS also made what he calls cauterized cabbage. Basically you cook cabbage in a skillet in butter, but you kind of burn it a little bit.

    Yesterday I also had a bad day with my blood sugar going low and was cranky most of the day. I think it is because I didn’t eat for too long. And I was hungry when I went outside and decided that the gopher wasn’t going to have all my winter veggies!! I transplanted the entire bed to another bed that was only recently fortified with chicken wire. Apparently it rusts out after three years of watering and gardening.

    My husband asked me if I’ve lost weight. He says my rear looks smaller… hmmm… well, I am not sure if that’s a compliment? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Also yesterday I made the orange mango smoothie thing I’d mentioned that I was going to have on the 1st. I finally got around to it yesterday.

    Today I noticed my kefir grains might be coming back to life. The milk smells more like kefir. It has been smelling like soured milk.

    I played with my spiralizer today and found a way to make zucchini spaghetti that is pretty much like real spaghetti! I even had it with garlic and butter! Mmmm!

    Dinner was chili verde, a pork dish made with yellow hot peppers, onions [affiliate link] and garlic. I also had butternut squash puree. I have never liked winter squash until I found Pioneer Woman’s recipe.

    Well, I hope I can find time to update tomorrow. It has been a busy weekend!

    GAPS DIET JOURNEY is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to AMAZON.COM. GAPS DIET JOURNEY is an affiliate for several companies and may be compensated through advertising and marketing channels. Therefore, this post may contain affiliate links.

  • Sausage Mayonnaise – Great on Salad

    Sausage Grease Avocado Mayo

    I am a mayonnaise making mad scientist!! I saw a discussion about mayonnaise out of BACON GREASE so today when I had a bunch of grease leftover from my homemade sausage I decided to see if I could work my mayo magic on it.

    It took a little bit of experimenting, but I finally got it to emulsify with the addition of an avocado.

    I love this dressing on salads.

    Sausage Mayonnaise – Great on Salad
    Author: 
    Recipe type: Salad Dressing
    Cuisine: American
     
    Ingredients
    • ⅓ cup sausage grease in liquid form (slightly warm)
    • 2 egg yolks
    • 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
    • 1 avocado
    Instructions
    1. Mix with a stick blender. Serve over salad or use as a dip. Be sure your sausage grease is liquid but not too warm as it will cook the eggs [affiliate link] instead of emulsifying.

    ย 
    GAPS DIET JOURNEY is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to AMAZON.COM. GAPS DIET JOURNEY is an affiliate for several companies and may be compensated through advertising and marketing channels. Therefore, this post may contain affiliate links.