In March I weighed 174.8. I stepped on the scale on Friday (April 1st) and my weight was 175.6. Here is the bright side on my not losing weight last month… I am learning how to maintain my weight. Basically, if I stay within the choices of full GAPS, including things like peanut butter [affiliate link], nuts, fruit and honey [affiliate link], I will still stay at about the same weight. I mean, at least I didn't gain ten pounds by eating those things.

I seem to be able to stay off those foods, which are completely legal on GAPS, for at least the first couple of weeks in the month, and then I started slipping up and eating them again.

I would not concern myself, but I guess I would like to continue to lose a bit more weight as I am 5'4″ and I think 175 is still too much for my frame. Although I have always looked 25 pounds lighter since I was blessed with naturally muscular derriere and thighs. By naturally muscular, I mean I don't work out and these parts of my body maintain a nice muscular appearance.

The other thing is, it seems when I start to eat too much fruit and honey, it does seem to affect my mood and I seem less happy and more anxious. Nothing like before I started GAPS, but enough that I feel it.

And in fact, yesterday when I interviewed Dr. Natasha, she did allow that one could do a quick bout with intro if they saw symptoms returning and she mentioned depression as one of the symptoms.

I am just so thrilled with the interview today. I have always cringed at hearing my voice all of my life. How can it be that the sound of my voice doesn't make me cringe? Am I imagining things, or has GAPS managed to change my perception of myself to the point that I'm no longer hypercritical of myself? Pre-GAPS it would have been very difficult to listen to the podcast because I would have felt so embarrassed and critical of any little mistake.

I downloaded the podcast and on my drive to my friend's house to attend her triplets one year birthday party, I listened to the show. I was pleased with my first attempt at being a talk show host. It's just weird. I mean, seriously, all my life I have been so hypercritical of my own voice. Hated my own voice. Could that be some weird mental thing to dislike one's voice, a weird mental thing that GAPS could have addressed for me? Because don't some people love to hear themselves talk? I used to have noise sensitivity before I started on GAPS.

Maybe the pleasure of hearing Dr. Natasha speak and share her wisdom just overwhelmed my own tendency to not want to hear my own voice taped.

I had determined that I would need to listen to the show because I needed to know if there was anything I was doing that I should work on changing in my subsequent shows. One thing I will refrain from doing is to make those little affirmative comments, which to me came across as sounding like grunts. That actually made me laugh after awhile. You know how when you have a conversation with someone, you nod your head, or if you are on the phone, you say, “Mmhmm…” well, on a talk show it sounds like grunting, at least it did to me. I will eliminate that from future talk shows.

One thing about GAPS, I do know it has changed the negative looping that my brain used to do. I would get started on something negative and I would try to logically talk myself out of it, but I couldn't seem to do so. Today, I did catch myself feeling… well… maybe embarrassed? Or uncomfortable, with all the “Mmhmmm” sounds I was making, and my mind started to race just a little bit, wondering if I could have my son edit out those sounds… and feeling like I wished I could do the whole interview over and not do that, but I was able to stop myself right away. I used to in the past, try to persuade myself with logic… “It's okay. There's nothing I can do about that. No one else even notices.” Today, logic works. I'm so glad.

Dr. Natasha is such a wealth of information. I'm so glad we have her, and I'm so thrilled that she shared a bit more of her program for practitioners that she is going to be doing starting in the fall of this year.

Did you get to listen to the show? I like to listen to podcasts while I'm driving, it really makes the time fly. I bought this cute little hot pink MP3 player, I think it cost me ten or six bucks back at Christmas time. I would like to get an iPod Nano like my husband has eventually, but the little pink MP3 player works well for me in the meantime.

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog. I love you guys. 🙂