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Today was a bad day. What was bad about it was I didn't feed myself correctly, ended up with a blood sugar drop, turned cranky and depressed and even had suicidal thoughts. This is highly uncommon for me to feel suicidal.
I got to bed last last night, around midnight, and was up by sometime around 6 this morning. Or maybe it was 6:30. Anyway, I probably didn't get enough sleep.
I made breakfast for ES consisting of two eggs scrambled with asparagus (leftover from dinner two nights earlier), and one of my delicious meatloaf patties (which I cannot have right now). I also heated him up a cup of broth for him to drink while he waited for me to make his breakfast.
For myself, I had two cups of broth with one clove of raw garlic. I then proceeded to become insanely and obsessively engrossed in trying to figure out a coding problem and ended up not eating for too many hours.
By then I was so cranky, and feeling so depressed. Feeling as if I'd wasted the entire day looking, searching, trying to find the answer.
And mad as a hornet that I can't have butter.
Butter has been my saving grace while being on GAPS. I have not had any other dairy whatsoever, but I have not been able to give up butter.
I finally had to force myself to stop trying to figure out a seemingly unsolvable problem (at least by me) when my husband got home for the day. Thank God YS cooked dinner. Dh gets loud sometimes, being funny and joking around with the boys, so I had to leave the house and I went out and milked the goats.
The goats whose milk we are not using. Actually, for the first time in weeks, YS actually drank milk with his dinner.
YS made meatloaf with oatmeal, so I couldn't have any. I'm sure there were other ingredients in there I couldn't have. He made some green beans which were pretty tasty, but there weren't enough for me to get filled up on.
I am sick of boiled chicken. I will probably start a pot of chicken tomorrow, but just couldn't bring myself to do it today.
For dinner, I had about 1/2 cup of broth with one pound of frozen peas and two tablespoons of coconut oil. It was a little weird, the taste of coconut but it was not too bad and was actually nice to eat.
I wrote to the list and cried about how miserable I was, and got a few comments back. One person said she gets really irritable when she's on Introduction. So maybe all my anger and vile feelings can be attributed to die off, but I know from experience when I don't eat for six hours it turns me into a foul person.
Tomorrow, I get to start with egg yolk!!! I will have to go out and collect eggs from the hens so I can have good fresh eggs. I need to review the steps. I know I can have avocado on Stage Three.
I am doing Introduction because I keep hearing how people had huge leaps in progress and healing as a result of doing Intro. It has been 90 days since I started full GAPS, so I thought it was time.
I asked my son to look at my weight on the scale today. I still do not want to know what it is.
How was your day?