I was going to say “overweight” but I'm not talking about someone who is forever trying to lose ten pounds and thinks they are overweight. You know what I mean by “fat”… I'm talking about someone who could stand to lose sixty or seventy or a hundred pounds.

Anyway, now that I have that explanation out of the way… today I heard something that just made me sad. I was talking with an acquaintance of mine, and she is on that has never been overweight. I would imagine she probably has trouble keeping weight on, partially because she has a job which requires her to be physically active, and she doesn't eat very much anyway. I would say she's underweight, if anything. She could even have gut dysbiosis which causes her to undereat.

I was showing her a sweater I bought at Savers that is just so adorable. It cost me $6.99, it's black, has long sleeves and is most likely machine knit but it has this adorable scalloped edging around the entire sweater, and ends of the sleeves. It is a half sweater, and I just think it looks so cute. I told my friend that I have been enjoying buying clothes lately just because there is such a large selection and I lamented that there just is a lack of pretty clothing for the larger sized woman. At least that was my experience in thrift stores which is where I prefer to shop for clothing.

She said, “Well, maybe it will give them incentive” and she said it in the kindest way, she wasn't trying to be mean spirited at all. I doubt if she has a mean bone in her entire body.

This is just the way some slender people think. They think it's easy to stay slender. They do it. Most slender people think they control their weight, when they are simply naturally slender. They don't understand how difficult it is. They can't. They have never experienced it.

I read a book one time that really shed some light on the situation, and it did say that people who are naturally slender think they are doing it and they think they have control over themselves. In all reality, it would be impossible for them to gain one hundred pounds and if they could accomplish the feat, it would be very difficult for them to keep the weight on.

I now believe that this is all related to gut dysbiosis. A naturally slender person who is at a healthy weight likely has healthy gut flora.

I say it has been relatively easy to be on GAPS, but it hasn't been simple. I have had to give up entire food groups to lose weight. And that made it easier to avoid those foods.

I am attempting to stay off fruit again. I ended up making two dozen cupcakes and ate ten of them by myself over two days time. Four of them as soon as they left the oven. They were sheer heaven, I can't remember tasting anything quite so good in I don't know how long. Utter delight. At our little party at work, four people chose to eat my cupcakes and cashew nut ice cream instead of the ice cream cake. That was neat.

Today I did manage to not eat any fruit, and also no peanut butter [affiliate link].

Since I pigged out on the cupcakes (made with almond flour [affiliate link], sweetened with honey [affiliate link], and one illegal, no make that two illegal ingredients, baking soda [affiliate link] and cocoa powder [affiliate link]) I have been craving peanut butter, honey and fruit. Today I finally did not eat any peanut butter or fruit. Although I dearly wanted a banana from work. I did bring some home, but I did not eat any.

I still don't want GAPS to be about losing weight, but I am finding myself wanting to be “successful” and lose more weight. I guess I am also still experimenting to see how this works. I think when I get to a weight that is right for me, I will not have a problem maintaining it, as hopefully I am right in thinking the addition of fruit and nut butters will supply enough extra calories to keep my weight steady. We'll see when I get to that point.

Well, so those are my thoughts for the day, along with a bit of a daily report. I should also mention that my hands feel wonderful and seem to get stronger and healthier every day. Although my nails now seem brittle, which I feel means I need more calcium, but maybe I just need to step up the chicken broth. I have also been having some elimination issues and I've missed a day every few days, which I was thinking today could be partly why I've been feeling some depression. I was also feeling anxiety yesterday and took Kava Kava. I was also very tired this past weekend. Just worn out. Okay, enough of that.

I need to get into bed. 4am comes way too early. I was very late for work this morning, got there around 9am and worked until 5pm. Getting to work late, then working late, means I get home late, I get to bed late and increases the chance that I will be late for work the next morning and start the cycle over again.

Good night, and best wishes on your journey.