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Gosh, where does the time fly? Let's see what has been going on. Well, for one thing I have a secret project I've been working on and will be revealing sometime in April. I am pretty excited about it, and hoping everything goes as I expect it to. I'll be stepping a little bit out of my comfort zone, but to me this is just a sign that I've done more healing.
Who would I have become had I not been a GAPS patient all my life? For I am convinced I have been a GAPS patient since birth. In a nutshell, here is why… my grandmother was very sick as a young woman in her twenties. She had tuberculosis and lived in a sanitarium for two years. Her family expected her to die and when she finally got out with only one lung functioning her doctor told her she had better move to Arizona because she could not tolerate the Ohio weather. My grandmother had saved $2000 in her short life and went to the bank to withdraw it but found that family members had taken her money, assuming she would never need it. Who knows what kind of medication she was on in the sanitarium. I don't know what they treated tuberculosis with back in the 1930s and 1940s.
My grandmother had enough money for a ticket to Arizona and she came her with one little bundle of clothing. She lived at a home for spinsters, as she was thirty years old and considered to be a spinster. She was an expert typist and excellent at shorthand. She found a job working at the Luke Air Force Base and that is where she met Grandpa. They had a whirlwind three month courtship and were married two days before Grandpa was called to World War II. She conceived in those two days. She almost died delivering my mother. Grandma told me she bled so heavily that blood soaked through the mattress and onto the floor. The doctors would not allow her to breastfeed my mother, and formula was non-existent back then so my mother was fed a gruel of corn syrup and canned evaporated milk. Hardly nutritious, eh?
When my mother had me, she breastfed me on a schedule. Normally I would use the term “nursed” but my mother didn't “nurse” me. She had me on schedule as if I were taking formula. This is what the doctor told her she should do, so she followed it to the letter. I was only allowed to nurse on one side for ten minutes, then she would switch me to the next side for ten minutes. After I had my own children, I realized that I must have never gotten any hindmilk as foremilk comes down for the first ten minutes or so before the hindmilk which has all the fats. Mom says I screamed and cried for hours and she would sit in her room, while I lay in my crib, and she would sob and cry, while I screamed in hunger. But she didn't want to harm me. The doctor told her she must let me scream in order to strengthen my lungs. She didn't want me to have weak lungs!
When I was six months old, Mom weaned me to the bottle. I projectile vomited the full fat cow's milk and she found I could only tolerate skim milk.
Goodness! It's a wonder my brain functions considering the lack of nourishment I had as an infant. Isn't the human body truly a wonder?
As a child, I was underweight. I had stomachaches every single morning before going to school. I thought it was a nervous stomachache because of this girl in the second grade who used to bully me. Every day from second grade up to high school I had a stomachache before going to school.
Since I was so thin, my mom was ordered (by our woman pastor) to put me on a nightly milkshake made with Carnation malted milk, vanilla ice cream and whole milk. Lots of calories, lots of sugar.
When I turned sixteen I was sent to live with this pastor and in a renewed attempt to fatten me up, she ordered me to eat four candy bars a day which I did faithfully because I thought she had a direct word from God.
Then my appendix almost burst inside me a few months later. Apparently the appendix holds the bacteria culture for any time the gut is disturbed, like when antibiotics are given, or when one has a bad case of diarrhea.
Anyway, to go beyond that brief bit would be to enter my adult story so I'll end there.
Back to where I started. I am starting to think my timidness and shyness and high sensitivity has been a gut issue. I was painfully shy as a child.
Could my shyness have been a cause of gut dysbiosis?
Would I have been a totally different person had I been outgoing?
Are introverts or extroverts more likely to have gut dysbiosis?
I think I should have entered a field where I would have gathered statistics as they fascinate me. Okay, I don't really know exactly what a statistician does, but I think they gather and compare statistics about areas being studied.
Aside from all this thinking out loud, I've been doing better. I can tell I am healing from the stress of losing our white gold.
I had a terrible bout with insomnia, which I believe was precipitated by this wonderful spice I made for myself. I will share the details on that one day soon. I am sleeping better, but it seems like it will be a fantasy to ever get nine hours of sleep each night as suggested in the book Lights Out. I did amazingly well in spite of getting only 2-4 hours sleep. I managed to function and go to work each day, amazing. A true testament that my health is better as in 2009 I would have been falling apart at the seams.
I am looking forward to intro.
I talked to my husband again about doing GAPS and I think he understood a bit more this time. It seems like each time we talk, he gains more understanding of what is expected.
I also talked to my oldest son about doing GAPS. He was crying last night because he misses eating Taco Bell. I felt so sad and like such a terrible mother. I tried to explain to him that if he stops eating bread and tortillas and crackers and Taco Bell, his hair might grow back since alopecia is an autoimmune disease. Most people with alopecia find their hair will grow back when they stop eating gluten, but I feel it goes further and has much to do with gut dysbiosis. I showed him the eczema on his belly and said that would probably go away. I pointed out his various little issues that he is aware of, and I told him those all might be healed. I told him if we do the diet for two years, then he might be able to have Taco Bell (I shudder) sometimes. His response? To punch his fist into the palm of his other hand and say, “YES!” Poor guy, I know he does not realize how long two years is. Slowly I'll get him on board.
I will continue to talk to my husband and to my son. I really need to get my husband on board and on the same page. And I also talk to my younger son as I know he needs to do GAPS, too. It is inevitable that both my sons need GAPS. I have no doubt that I unintentionally passed on bad gut flora to them both.
How are you doing on your GAPS journey?