Day 247 – Not Feeling Good Today

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Today has been a continuation of discomfort from yesterday.  My period has not started, and my back is hurting.  It is most likely caused by holding the babies and rocking and swaying them while I stood for quite a long time.  Before GAPS, my back would have been hurting and I would not have been able to rock and bounce the baby in my arms. I would have had to sit down.

Maybe I just overdid it.

My husband keeps teasing me and saying, “Those babies kicked your a$$!” And that always makes me bust out laughing to think of three little four month old babies getting the best of me.

For breakfast I had leftover zucchini with butter.  For a snack I had two teaspoons of peanut butter with about the same amount of butter and one teaspoon of honey. Very yummy and creamy.  I just wanted something a little sweet.  Then for lunch or more like an early dinner I had spinach and then I cooked some ground beef that I'd seasoned to taste like sausage for breakfast a couple of mornings ago.  And I added in the leftover onions I'd cooked a few days ago.  I guess something wasn't exactly in the best condition because my stomach is a little weird.  Not really queasy, but just doesn't feel right.

I was also up during the night again last night.  I am stumped. I have not been eating any fruit, and have not been eating any high carb vegetables.  Now what is causing this insomnia?  It must be hormones.  I just hope I am able to sleep through tonight because I have to get up and go to work in the morning and that is not going to be any fun if I wake up at 1:30 and have to get up at 3:30. During the night I was tempted by the banana lying on the counter. I came so close to peeling it and eating it with some almond butter. But I decided against it.  What did I end up having?  I think some leftover salad.

Argh.

I think my sore back is from rocking the babies.  When I lay down on the couch it feels so much better. It feels like the muscles are tensed up when I'm sitting.

My hubby has to work later than usual this evening so he isn't home yet.  And I don't feel like making dinner. What to do. What to do.  He's not a big fan of leftovers.  I really wish I could go straight to bed. But if I went to bed now, I'd go to sleep and then I'd wake up at 6:30 and not be able to sleep until 10pm.

It's so hot out.  It is really hard at this time of the year to keep a garden going.  The only thing I have out there is sunflowers, tomato plants, eggplants, pepper plants and a watermelon plant.  I wish it would just rain hard enough that I wouldn't have to water for a week. But that's just not how it goes here in Arizona.

I wonder if I am going through die off.

It is weird because I feel like I am going through a phase where I want to dump all the things that I've been doing and hanging onto for years which just aren't a good way to spend my time. Like my water kefir. It's so hit and miss.  I hate when it turns alcoholic and sometimes it just tastes too sweet and worries me that I'm getting a lot of sugar. I just drink a swig or so every once in a while.

And today, horror of horrors… I asked my husband if he'd really lost the number of “that guy” who took half of our herd last year.  Because he said if we ever wanted to get rid of the rest of our herd, just give him a call.  I am so tempted. And my youngest son brought home store bought cow's milk!  He has always said that the goat's milk tastes delicious in comparison. Well, if he isn't going to drink the goat's milk then what is the point of all this work I'm doing every day to milk?  It's just too bad.  I feel my girls are valuable since they are consistent milkers and have proven that they can hold their lactation over many years. Two of them have been lactating constantly for four years with only one freshening.  Granted they aren't giving me a huge amount of milk, but I guess it's really common for goats to dry themselves up within a year of kidding and so you are forced to breed them again and have kids to deal with. Not that the kids aren't cute, but if you have a hard time getting rid of them or putting them in the freezer they sure do eat a lot of hay.

It's really like throwing your money out onto the ground in the form of goat berries.

As for my garden… the sunflowers already have big heads of seed, the tomato plants seem to have some weird disease where they have tiny black spots all over the leaves. The peppers seem to need a lot of water and don't taste very good.  The eggplant are not heirloom and they also seem to have those black spots. The watermelon has huge seeds and I'm not eating fruit.  It's like I'm spending my time and pouring water into the ground really for nothing. And it's so danged hot and muggy out.  And I'm tired.

Hubby keeps saying, “You did have a big weekend, and those babies, well, those babies, you know, kicked your a$$.” I did go visit my mom and was out in the muggy heat for hours.

Maybe.  I just hope I get a good night's sleep tonight.  I'm sure that's not helping me feel any better.

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2 comments to Day 247 – Not Feeling Good Today

  • churyl

    i’m having the same problem with sleep. the slightest thing awakes me and i can’t go back to sleep. if i take melatonin before bed, i find i am able to go back to sleep when i wake, after three or four hours. perhaps that could help you? my friend swears by nutmeg. i think it’s hormones… i’m 38… can’t think what else it could be.

    btw, i loved suzanne somers’ book, ‘breakthrough medicine’ about aging and hormones and nutrition. she takes melatonin to help with sleep.

    hugs!

    [Reply]

    Starlene Reply:

    Churyl! How are you doing? I have never taken melatonin. My problem seemed to be related to hormones. Definitely. The hot flashes finally stopped and my period started after more than two months… thankfully I’m back to sleeping well. I read some of Suzanne Somers’ book… I kinda think she goes a little far though. Dunno.

    [Reply]

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