Day 10

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Just to follow up with yesterday. In the afternoon I received a flaming comment (elsewhere, not here) and it really hit me hard emotionally. Really hard. Stressed me out majorly. To the point where I had difficulty sleeping last night. I think I got three hours sleep then woke at about 1:30am.  I have been awake since then, it's now 5:13.  I decided to not go in to work today. I'm also way behind on the accounting for my husband's business, so decided to just take the day off.

As I said, I woke at 1:30am. It is not uncommon for me to wake up hungry in the middle of the night.  It used to be a lot easier to get something to eat though. I'd usually just grab a hunk of cheese and crawl back into bed and munch on it. But not while doing this GAPS thing.  Finally I got up at 2 and warmed myself up some broth and had a few bites of chicken breast.  I also took another Kava Kava to help with the tension and anxiety I was feeling.  Sometimes when I am really stressed out, I become conscious that my neck and shoulder muscles are just totally cramped up. And that's when I'm lying in bed, trying to sleep.

I thought I could get back to sleep, but I was still feeling very tense, and then I remembered that last night I had to cram my clothes into the dryer with my son's jeans that weren't dry all the way. So I got up to check the clothes, they were damp, so I turned on the dryer for another half hour and decided to turn on the computer and check my email.  Basically to see if there were any responses to the emails I'd sent out to some close friends to assure me I really don't need to go to any drastic measures over being flamed by a total stranger (like plunge a knife into my heart)  who was being rather rude and unreasonable. I got the responses I was hoping for, and they were comforting. But then I was wide awake, so I decided to just start my day by getting some of the accounting work done.

I figured if I take today, I can get this work done, as opposed to having to go to work and then rush home and work for 3 hours every night after working all day long, which never works out, especially since I am milking in the afternoons.

Okay. I was hungry again at about 3:50, so I decided to see if zucchini would fry up grated like potatoes will. No dice.  I cooked them in butter for a while and when they were nearly done I scrambled two eggs and threw them into the skillet.  Very delicious, very nourishing. I used about 1 tablespoon or maybe a bit more of butter, so the eggs were really yummy.

I was noticing this morning, while trying to get back to sleep that my nose and sinuses are very clear and I could breathe very well through my nose. I have a very difficult time sleeping when my sinuses are clogged as I cannot sleep with my mouth open, so it is a big deal and something I typically notice when my sinuses are clear. I guess that's what happens when you're off dairy for ten days.

Last night Eldest Son offered me a corn tortilla chip with some store bought dip on it. I have not started anything aside from broth with him, and dh offered the chips and dip to him. It is hard to not feel upset with dh for suggesting that Eldest Son eat corn chips, but we haven't started the “diet” yet anyway, so I just held my tongue. Anyway, when Eldest Son offered me the tortilla chip with dip, I just told him, “Thanks, but I'm not eating this kind of food right now” and as I rounded the corner going into the kitchen discreetly threw it in the trash. No desire to even taste it, and it wasn't hard to avoid, because I know the store bought stuff tastes nasty anyway.

This morning Youngest Son handed me the remainder of his sparkling water, and I told him, “Thanks, but I won't drink it. I'm not putting that into my stomach either.”  We've been eating buddies for a few years, sharing bites and drinks. So it's kind of a weird thing. I was drinking the sparkling water in the last year or so, but lately I've been thinking it's probably just tap water, with fluoride in it, and I think the carbonation is bad for my stomach anyway. I think it's not GAPS legal at any rate.

Oh, and my husband bought me some almonds last night. He likes to bring me little treats. I had to read the ingredients though since they were smoked, and as I suspected they were not GAPS legal. For one thing they contained hydrolyzed soy protein (form of MSG). I told him and he was bummed. He doesn't read labels so he had no idea. Youngest Son was thrilled to see them this morning so they will get eaten. Unfortunately Youngest Son is going through a phase where he is eating all sorts of junk food, using toothpaste with fluoride.  It's just kind of funny because he's rebelling in ways that most parents would be happy. He's brushing his teeth! I should be happy!  But he's using fluoride I'm screaming inside myself.  Fluoride = poison, to my mind.

So I am probably going to go back to bed pretty soon as I am now beginning to feel tired.

Our cat is sleeping out in his favorite chair, instead of under the bed hiding away from everyone and everything, so maybe he's going to make it through to see the new year.

2:37pm.  I did go back to bed around 5:30, and woke up at 9:30.

I'm steaming some cabbage. I'm hungry. I had some stress this morning. I had to talk to the state about some money that was withheld (only $9 but it's our money!) and I was very frustrated. Thankfully the woman I was talking to was very patient.  Extremely patient. I thanked her for being so patient and she laughed with delight. I guess she couldn't believe someone would thank her after having ranted and raved for 15 minutes. We talked for a bit more and then my cell phone just lost reception. I tried twice to get her back on the phone, and left a message to just ask someone to thank her, and let her know I didn't hang up on her on purpose.

I am finding that I am HIGHLY distracted and finding it more difficult to concentrate than ever before.

Ironically, I am not finding it too hard to blog an update, or read GAPS blogs. I've started to add some links to my sidebars.  I'm still unhappy with my blog's look, so I will be doing some more tweaking as the days go by.

I posted to the list today, and included a link to this blog. Welcome to any new readers.  I hope you'll take a minute to comment, or use my contact form to say hi.  Or subscribe.  That's fine, too.

Next I have to focus on more finance stuff.  It is time to pay some bills, and I do the books for a little company and I need to get their stuff back to them tomorrow, so I have to get it done today as well.

I am so glad I love vegetables. I am eating my steamed cabbage with plenty of butter, and man is it delicious.

6:38pm. I managed to get a lot of the work done that I was supposed to get done today, and took the day off from my “regular” job in order to get caught up. I have one more half hour to go, then I can go to bed. Dh made chili verde for dinner with a salad. Youngest Son brought the salad home from work, and made an Italian dressing to go on it since I can't eat Ranch for now.

I can't wait to get Eldest Son started moving toward doing GAPS. He just hacks and hacks, it sound so uncomfortable, and also it is hard to listen to (like irritating).

I guess I had better close this post for the day.

7:25pm.  I am finally done with all the bookwork/accounting stuff. I need to get into bed. I ate dinner about half an hour ago… I found myself scarfing the salad. I don't think I'm supposed to eat salad right now. Raw vegetables and all.  Now my stomach feels a little funny. Also, the chili verde, my husband put tomato sauce in it, and as is customary, a bunch of yellow hot peppers. So that could be why my stomach feels a little funny. I feel a bit of rumbling in my stomach.

That made me remember that I haven't had rumbling in my stomach for several days.  Tomorrow I have to go back to work. I really wish I'd made myself some vegetables to take with me.  Well, I'll have to make due with the cashews again, I guess.

Good night.

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