So far, GAPS has been a real answer to prayer for me. For many years when I was studying body acceptance, so many of the books said all you have to do is learn to eat only when you’re hungry. Don’t eat from mouth hunger. Learn to detect when you feel satisfied, don’t eat past fullness.
For years and years, I tried. I mean, for more than a decade I’ve tried. I managed to legalize all foods, I used to have a fat phobia like you wouldn’t believe. I totally believed that all fats would kill me if I ate them. I didn’t eat butter for years. I remember trying some brown rice that my sister had prepared and it had butter on it, and the butter tasted rancid to me. My sister didn’t taste a rancid taste, so I thought all butter must taste rancid once we don’t eat it for a long time.
I legalized fats first. About ten years ago my husband wanted us to stop eating margarine, so we started using butter. Next I legalized white flour and white sugar, and regular (as opposed to whole grain) pasta. A lot of good it did me. I kept gaining weight every year.
I did learn that I ate from mouth hunger sometimes when I was stressed out or nervous about something, and was able to learn to control and stop that behavior.
But I never could succeed at eating only until I was satisfied. I tried and tried and tried. I kept failing, and feeling like a loser. I tried to keep myself fed, but watch out, if I got too hungry, I was like a starved dog. Gobbling my food, chewing it two-three-four times and swallowing it whole.
I never thought I could diet again. Diets don’t work. I found that out myself. I ended up feeling like I had an eating disorder after doing the low fat dieting. I started craving foods I’d never really liked that much before. Like donuts and potato chips. I assumed it was the sugar, but later on I realized it was probably the fats since my diet was so low in fat during the low fat dieting.
Then I found Nourishing Traditions and just the thought of restricting any foods put me in a panic. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t even bring myself to read the book until about a year after I heard about it (on one of my goats lists).
I learned how to do all the NT stuff, sauerkraut, kefir, kombucha. And we milked our goats for their raw white gold, I mean milk. I loosely did NT for oh, about five years?
But I was still eating anything I wanted. If I wanted a candy bar, I’d get one. Now I wasn’t eating more than a candy bar or two a month, but I’d have one if I wanted one. While eating anything I wanted, I also started taking note along the way of the foods that made me feel crappy. I simply adore semolina spaghetti with butter and fresh squeezed garlic. But it made me feel like I was going into a coma after eating it, I would be so exhausted. The exhaustion would extend into the next day. Eventually I stopped having it but once a month or so, just because I felt so yucky. Plus, I gorged myself on it. There was absolutely no way to just eat a little bit or stop when I felt satisfied. I’d cook a maximum of two dry ounces, just because I knew I’d eat a whole pound if I made an entire pound.
At work, we get these danish and breakfast muffins and bagels. I allowed myself to have those when I wanted, and since they are two-three days old by the time we get them, then we bag and freeze them, they don’t really taste all that good. Even fresh they were never THAT good. I did learn how to spit out something I’d started eating if I didn’t like it. Why eat it, if it’s not even good for me in the first place, and on top of that, it tastes bad? That’s just stupid clean plate club mentality.
Then I read the GAPS books.
I already knew along with eating everything I wanted, I was consistently gaining weight. I feared that I would continue gaining weight every year, even a few pounds, until I weighed 300 pounds.
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I just asked my son to reveal my weight from the first time I stepped on the scale in December 13th, on Day 9 of GAPS. He says I was at 232.
On March 5th, Day 2 of Intro, I weighed 226.
Yesterday I weighed 206. My son said that couldn’t be right. That would mean I’ve lost twenty pounds in one month. It’s interesting to me that my pants have just begun to loosen up some more in the last week. I have lost about three inches in my waistline.
Anyway, I had a real fear that I would continue gaining weight. Now, since I’ve been doing GAPS, it feels like my body is getting a break. Getting some much needed rest and relaxation for all the crap I’ve been putting into it.
In March I visited one of my sisters and ate at her house. I’d brought my own food along with me. She remarked to her daughter that I was having a small portion like they were having. That’s the thing that has been so great for me with GAPS. I have not had to worry about PORTION CONTROL. Since I’m not eating foods that cause me to mindlessly overeat, it’s very easy to stop eating when I feel satisfied. Smaller portions automatically satisfy me.
Like last night, when I had the pineapple burgers… after I had my one burger, I had some pineapple, tomato, onion and jalapeno peppers and Avocado Mayo Dressing on another leaf of lettuce. It was so good, I planned to have another. But I realized, I already feel pretty close to being full. So I will probably need to be careful about having too much fruit, as it could cause me to eat more than I really need to.
Throughout the month of being on intro, I was careful to stay well fed. At times I would get busy and not feed myself, but for the most part I ate plenty of coconut oil [affiliate link], and avocados were one of my main standbys once I got that far into intro.
My point is, I ate when I was hungry, and I naturally lost weight. I didn’t have to portion out and count my calories. Yes, I removed certain and whole food groups. Is it worth avoiding certain foods to be able to eat to satiation when hungry?
I say yes. I have been looking for this for the last quarter century. I longed to go back to how it used to be when I was in my early twenties. Just don’t worry about it, eat anything, however much I wanted, when and how often I wanted. Except back then I ate anything and everything. I was also younger, with a digestive system that had never been exposed to antibiotics.
I used to think having my babies changed my metabolism and maybe that helped, but I did have four courses of antibiotics in the year before my oldest son was born. I think that had a lot more to do with it.
Anyway. I hope I continue to see my weight go down. Although this never started out to be about weight loss, now I understand that being overweight is a sign of dis-ease. My poor body. No wonder I don’t have much energy. Yet.
I’ve only been on GAPS for 122 days. That’s four months. I believe I’ve heard testimonials that energy started to be regained at six months. I’m definitely in this for the long haul.
I am so grateful I found GAPS.
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