Dance the Night Away

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Me Having Fun

Yesterday I went to a wedding for a dear friend with whom I used to work.  It's always a challenge going to celebrations because of the food dilemma, but I've been doing GAPS 18 months now and I no longer feel deprived if I can't eat what everyone else is eating.  My friend had her dinner and reception at a Mexican food restaurant. Thank you God that I've been doing GAPS so long, because Mexican is one of my favorite foods.  The meal consisted of refried beans, Spanish rice, flour tortillas, corn chips, salsa and some kind of beef.  I passed on everything – I could have taken a chance on the salsa and the beef, but I didn't want to take a chance on getting any illegals.

I'd gone to a grocery store just prior to the dinner and bought myself some nitrate-free salami, an avocado, a banana, and a package of deli meat with no nitrates.  I also brought from home some “fudge babies” made with almond flour [affiliate link], cocoa powder [affiliate link], butter, coconut flakes [affiliate link], chunky peanut butter [affiliate link] and a dab of honey [affiliate link]. The banana and the fudge babies were my substitute for wedding cake! 🙂

Anyway… all of my life I have been too shy to get up and dance.  Not to mention I was raised in the Pentecostal religion and dancing was forbidden (unless of course you were under the supposed power of the Holy Spirit).  With the idea dancing is forbidden, along with the overbearing thoughts of how stupid I must look, how people surely are laughing at me while they watch me consumed me and I could not get past the thoughts.  Actually, I was able to dance one time, when I went out with my sister.  But it was difficult as the thoughts were nearly overwhelming.

But since my personality change, which I have to attribute to GAPS and healing gut dysbiosis, I was able to get up and dance several times and I enjoyed myself immensely.  Can you see the joy in my face in the photo above?  I danced with the bride and I danced with some women friends in attendance, and I was able to completely turn off the feelings of self-doubt and feelings of embarrassment.

I felt joyously alive. I felt happy. I had energy!  I felt like dancing!  And I got up and danced when a song came on that I enjoyed!   The bride and groom had a DJ and there was a great mix of songs, from Latino to disco to slow dance love songs.

I have been quiet here at the blog because I have been tired lately and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch.  It's hard to find the energy to put my words here when I am tired.

People don't understand what GAPS can do.  They see the weight I've lost, and they automatically assume it's a diet to lose weight. While I have lost weight, that has only been one small side effect of doing GAPS. My main goal has always been to regain health; to stop feeling exhausted and feel joy instead of depression.  I have had much healing in the last 18 months, and I am no longer super tired or badly depressed, but my body is still healing.  I still need plenty of sleep and don't have a lot of energy yet.  I'm still at times bummed out, but nowhere near as bad as I felt before GAS.

It takes time to heal the gut; Dr. Natasha says two years, “…if we're lucky.”  One of my list members said it can take one month for every year one has been alive, so it may well take four years for me to heal (since I just turned 48 last month).

I am still working to heal my body, and I know it will take time, and I'm willing to do what it takes to continue to heal.

Last night in between dancing the night away… I thought again of who I might have been had it not been for gut dysbiosis… I am such a strong woman, how much more would I have done if I'd actually had some energy?!   I have always been tired and lethargic. As a child I detested running and physical education.  It seems I was born with fatigued adrenals.  Speaking of which, I did get back the results to my adrenal testing. I hope to share what I learned soon. I have not yet decided on the course of action I want to take, and how much of the prescribed protocol I want to follow.

It is a little stressful because there is a part of me that wants to be the “good girl” and do what I'm told, on the other hand, Dr. Natasha says we should be in charge of our own health. Additionally, the protocol includes GAPS illegals, so I would be disregarding the Dr. Natasha's protocol if I started on GAPS illegal supplements.  Not to mention I might make myself sick!

So I am still trying to decide what I want to do as far as following through with the suggested protocol to heal my adrenals.

Last night was fun.   The reception was scheduled to last until midnight, but I said my goodbyes around 10pm as I was starting to feel sleepy, and had an hour's drive home.  I got home and was in bed by midnight. A late night for me, but wow!  I actually had the energy to participate and enjoy myself.

Here's to our GAPS Journey!

In health,

Starlene

 

 

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8 comments to Dance the Night Away

  • You look so YOUNG! It is easy to see you are on your way to health. Your glowing face screams it loud and clear that you are well down the road on that journey. Beautiful!

    [Reply]

    Starlene Reply:

    @Jennifer, why thank you! My friend and I were being so silly, and having so much fun together, it was a great night! Thank you for the really sweet compliment! The picture was a little blurry, but I thought it really portrayed my happiness. It was nice to have some fun. 🙂 Thanks for visiting and commenting!

    [Reply]

  • You look very happy! Glad to hear you were able to enjoy yourself. Isn’t it nice when you feel more free now that you have experienced some healing? Amazing how GAPS can heal/clear the mind while healing the gut. I’m just starting on my journey, but I have already experienced a lot of relief from severe OCD. I enjoy reading your updates. It gives me hope.

    [Reply]

  • Simone

    Such an inspiring post, thanks for sharing!

    So glad you had a fun night dancing and you certainly look happy.

    [Reply]

  • Magda

    Starlene, your face positively glows!! I’m so happy you had a good time.
    I’ve actually had my MIL comment that I’m too skinny! Over the last few months I lost a lot of weight but then gained a few pounds and I’m now 105 which is what I was before I had kids (I had my first at age almost 28). I’m 5’3″ BTW. I was about 120 before. I’m actually hoping to gain a few pounds as I do feel kinda skinny but I won’t do it by eating carbs or potatoes or rice or such. I’m amazed you were able to not cheat – I’ve been having bits of sugar here and there. DH likes his sweets and it’s hard to say no. I am transitioning to intro this week and I’m hoping to do it right.

    [Reply]

  • Starlene,
    Thank you for such a wonderful and inspiring post! I’ve been feeling pretty low today and so overwhelmed by the difficulty of this diet. I’m only 3 months in, but I’m dying for some results. Thank you for reminding me that healing will happen and that I will eventually feel better. I am so happy for you! You look so beautiful in your picture!

    Love,
    Suzy

    [Reply]

  • Oh, Starlene!! You look BEAUTIFUL!! And it fills my heart that you had such joy, happiness and fun!! Yay!

    [Reply]

  • Tiffany

    You look so happy in that picture…your post gives me so much hope!

    [Reply]

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