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By the way… D444 means Day 444 since I began the Gut and Psychology Syndrome Diet.
I got home from work right at 5pm. I left for work at 6am. Long days. As I was standing at the counter, dicing onions and frying hamburger to make hamburger burros for my husband and son's dinner, I pondered.
I stood there chopping, feeling grumpy and annoyed. I still had to go out and toss hay, water the pullets and milk the goats. I finally got everything cooking. I decided I would only eat vegetables for dinner, because I am sure I've gained at least five pounds in the last two weeks. My stomach bulged out over my jeans today and that just really bothered me. I'm having a lot of hot flashes… if I could just keep it straight what that means. I think it means that my period is on its way. That could be why my stomach seems bloated.
Random thoughts popping into my head… the cook offered me three japanese style eggplants today and I was so happy to have them. I have really been craving eggplant ever since she made it last Thursday.
More random thoughts… I felt nauseated this morning. I ate the last of the nitrate filled salami from Costco for breakfast. 10 or 11 slices? I remembered that I forgot to take the CALMS the day before, so I drank down 1/2 a teaspoon in water, plus took some Vitamin B, glucosamine chondroitin and zinc.
Yet another random thought… yesterday I trimmed one of our goat's hooves. This takes a lot of effort and strength. I was thrilled that my hands can handle it. Trimming hooves used to put me down for an hour or two it was so hard on me. I handled it well. I just impulsively decided to get one of my milker's feet done.
Back to what transpired earlier… it takes no more than 10 minutes to milk nowadays, since no one here can drink the milk. That means the dogs get it. They love it, lap up every speck. Not that I'm getting much milk nowadays since the last squeeze load of hay was so stemmy that the pens are now 2 feet deep with stems that they pick through, pee and poop on and refuse to eat. We've been having to feed double. That $500 squeeze load turned out to feed them only half the weeks it would had it been good quality. Goats are picky critters. Another five minutes to throw hay, but then another 15 minutes to water the pullets. We need to get a bigger watering contraption for them as they are drinking the two in there dry throughout the day. They mill around my feet pecking my shoestrings.
Maybe I can string some coherent thoughts together now, or maybe not… we'll see… so the food was cooking and I headed out. Grumpily. Thinking about all the things that annoy me. Wondering why I'm feeling down so much. Not happy that my beloved GAPS hasn't completely 100% cured my bummed out feelings.
Not so bad as it used to be, mind you. Nowhere near that point. I'm not crying frequently. I don't know how long it's been since I cried. And I'm not having to take Kava Kava every day… There I go digressing again.
The old hens gave me two eggs today. Two yesterday. Six the day before. They are really trying to earn their keep.
When I got back inside… I cut up the eggplant. Thinking I will only eat vegetables tonight. Maybe I am just getting too many calories.
I stood there thinking, and then it hit me… I'm sleep deprived!! Before I started with GAPS, I had pinpointed tiredness as being something that caused me to crave carbohydrates! I think this is why I've been craving fruit and honey and baked goods. In the book I read called Lights Out, the author confirmed my suspicion that not getting enough sleep causes us to crave carbs. She went into scientific detail on why it happens. She essentially says when we don't get enough sleep, it makes us fat. (BTW, “enough” sleep by her recommendation is 9 hours every night, in pitch darkness).
OH! That helps so much! For the past few weeks, I have not been getting enough sleep on the days I have to go to work. I am lucky if I get 6 hours! I am making it okay, some days I have gone ahead and had about 2 ounces of coffee with hot water (weak coffee – I'm not a coffee drinker, but use it to make myself more alert on occasion). But it is not enough sleep for me.
The main reason I am not getting enough sleep is because my husband has decided that he does not need more than 2 or 3 hours sleep. Actually, that was his goal in early January and he finally experienced almost falling asleep while driving (like I do regularly without enough sleep!). When he finally experienced that, he agreed that he needed more sleep. Now he's getting a bit more sleep, like four or five hours a night, sometimes 6. Every seven days or so he'll sleep 8 or 9 hours in a row. It's killing me because I have a hard time getting to sleep when he is not home. So I have been staying up too late. I am so tired in the morning that I cannot get out of bed, and I'm sometimes an hour late getting to work. Of course that means I stay an hour late. When I get off work an hour later, the traffic is heavier, and my 60 minute commute turns into 75 or 90 minutes. When I get home late, I get supper started later than normal… I eat later, I go to bed later… I get up later… it's a vicious cycle. And I also don't cope well with life when I'm tired. I've known that since I was nine years old. Things were always better after a good night's sleep.
And here I sit, blogging. Instead of going to bed. I really wish it wasn't already 7:45pm. I think I could have used a detox bath tonight.