D442 Anxiety Causes Me To Have Cravings

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It has been an interesting weekend. As I mentioned in my post where I shared the recipe for the mango smoothie, I have been having some anxiety over prices rising. I was doing great with not eating fruit and honey and baked goods, and peanut butter and other nutrient dense foods for about four days. These foods are healthy, good and legal on GAPS, but I seem to now be stuck firmly in “diet head” mode and would like to see weight loss as reward for my efforts so I have been trying to limit my consumption of them to none.

On Thursday at work the cook served eggplant with lunch. Large chunks, they looked delicious. I love eggplant. I haven't had any for a while because I haven't been able to find it on sale at the store for several weeks. I've been craving it.  I asked the cook hopefully – hoping she would say no, “Does the eggplant have oil in it?” She said, “Yeah, and it has butter, too.” I said, “You mean margarine, right?” She responded, “Oh yeah, margarine.” That meant I couldn't have any of the eggplant, which I'm sure ended up in the garbage since there was only 2 or 3 cups left.

I left work with hopes of finding some eggplant at a decent price. I decided to try Sprouts, because they usually have great prices on vegetables. They had cauliflower 4 heads for $5. That was better than $1.69 a pound so I got four heads. I didn't see eggplant at all.

Next I went to Phoenix Ranch Market, a store that caters mainly to those of Hispanic descent, and they usually have fantastic prices on vegetables. I was shocked to see green bell peppers for $1.69 each, zucchini squash for $2.29/pound, celery for $1.99/stalk and lettuce $2.29/head. I was unable to persuade myself to buy any vegetables at those prices. I know that many of my readers only eat organic vegetables and likely pay far more than these prices, but I just can't afford it. I did find cucumbers four for a dollar, so I bought four of those. I don't think they had eggplant here either, and when I asked the produce guy he didn't know what eggplant was (he didn't speak English).

I started feeling like I'm not going to be able to eat pretty soon, and I was starting to feel a little bit panicky, to tell you the truth. With the prices of vegetables skyrocketing, and the price of gasoline jumping by fifteen cents a day, it is a little nerve wracking.

My husband has been storing some food, but I would say 95% of his inventory are non-legal GAPS foods. I guess in a worse case scenario I would just have to stop doing GAPS, and go back to eating “normal” foods, which I know in turn is going to make me feel horrid. I'll start to feel higher levels of anxiety, and sink into the pits of depression. I'll gain weight. My feet will probably start hurting and my back will ache and I won't be able to sleep. My belly will bloat and I'll eat until I'm stuffed again with no control over myself. I can't imagine that I'll be able to ever go back to eating like I used to.

After those two disappointing stops, I decided to go to Costco, and it really helped. I am sure I was imagining things, but the clientele that shop Ranch Market near 16th Street and Roosevelt (a section of town very close to the projects) vs. Costco in Ahwatukee (upscale neighborhood nestled near South Mountains) are very different, and it seemed to me as if there was a feeling of desperation and concern at Ranch Market. This could have been my own imagination, since that is how I was feeling at the prices. At Costco, there is a feeling of wealth and plenty and lots of baskets filled with large quantities of food stuffs. AND, the prices were the same as they were last week. I bought more onions ($3.99/10#), 2 5# bags of frozen organic green beans ($5.99/bag), 2 packages of 24 ounces of button mushrooms ($3.99/carton), 6 romaine hearts ($2.99), 5 lovely ripe avocados ($5.99) and frozen cauliflower/broccoli/orange and yellow carrots. I felt much better once I left Costco.

But the anxious feelings over prices rising have continued to plague me. I have been very hungry with cravings for dense calorie items. I made cookies on Valentine's Day that were very delicious, and I had cookie dough leftover that I froze. So I have been taking the frozen cookie dough, baking 2 or 3 cookies and eating them with peanut butter, honey and butter. I've continued to gobble down salami with nitrates, even though I vowed to stop – no wait, I resolved to stop buying it. I guess my brain interpreted that to mean “Go ahead and eat what's left.”

I feel like I have to eat, eat, eat because soon I won't be able to eat anything. It will be too expensive. Prices of vegetables are predicted to double and maybe even triple. I hear it is being blamed on the freezing weather ruining crops. Is that why the price of gas is skyrocketing, too?

Or is that because our country is in such trouble financially that we may never recover?

I am defrosting our big freezer today, and getting rid of all the food that is freezer burned. Thankfully the chickens love leftover food, no matter if it's freezer burned or not. The big freezer has not been defrosted in a very long time and is half filled with ice, literally. My plan is to get it defrosted and get it stocked again.

I hope the prices will only be high for a few months like some are predicting, but I can't help but think that the prices are rising due to our country's economic troubles, and it we will continue to see rising prices.

I guess I'm thankful that I'm binging on GAPS legal foods… I could be eating candy bars, Oreo Cakesters (my husband's current addiction), pasta, fast food and all the things I used to eat when overeating. I could have fallen off the “wagon”, but I haven't. I guess overeating good healthy foods is better than overeating on SAD foods.  And my clothes still fit as they have been, so it's not like I've gained ten pounds over the weekend.

One more thing… my mom bought some Peter Gillham's Natural Calm Magnesium Powder and she gave me a couple of tablespoons.  I took some last night, because I have been having a bit of a problem “going” if you know what I mean. I understand it helps with that. I am also thinking about getting some of Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride's recommended probiotic, Bio-kult Advanced Probiotic Formula.  I am doing okay at sticking to the full GAPS foods, but I am slacking on broth and probiotic foods.  Just about the only thing I keep around is sauerkraut since I can't have yogurt or kefir (I'm not doing dairy products).

One thing I would like to see improve for me in the next six months is my mood. I still tend to be somewhat morose. I'm not as depressed as I was before starting GAPS, but I still feel down quite a bit of the time.  Like, on a scale of 1 to 20 with 20 being depressed to the point of feeling suicidal and needing medication, I would say I was at a 10 or 11 before GAPS.  Now I feel maybe a 3 or 4. I also would like to have more energy.

In a couple of different books I have read that when the gut does not have the proper bacteria to digest food properly, the body expends too much energy on digestion. Basically it takes most of the energy to digest food, leaving little energy for anything else.  This is one reason why I think I might look into Bio-kult.  I think there is also some digestive enzymes that might be helpful, I just don't know exactly which ones I would need. But maybe I'll start with the probiotic.

Anyone out there?

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7 comments to D442 Anxiety Causes Me To Have Cravings

  • Olga

    I have made fermented salsa, and I really like it. You could make whey from the goats milk, and use that to make fermented foods.

    Just a thought. I think probotics really help, and I have also been getting fermented cod liver oil. It is expensive, but that has really helped my energy level a lot.

    Good luck, you are doing really great even if you are giving yourself a bad time. I wish I could be as good as you.

    [Reply]

    Starlene Reply:

    I have accidentally had salsa that was “turning” and had a tingly taste to it. That was before learning about fermentation… I did not like the taste of it. Maybe I should try again. Maybe my tastes have changed! I do have the fermented cod liver oil, but I keep forgetting to take it! Partly because I honestly don’t like the taste of it. I know I shouldn’t let that get in the way, and it’s really not THAT horrible. I need to write a list of all I should do each day and try to get back on track. Thank you, Olga. I didn’t really feel like I was being hard on myself, I guess I was kind of. It’s the stupid diet head getting in the way. It’s become like a race now. I want to continue to lose weight. Argh! I think with all the extra goodies I have been eating this month I probably will not lose very much at all, if anything. Well, it’s okay. Thank you for reminding me to be nice to myself. Thank you for commenting. 🙂

    [Reply]

  • Michele

    I sympathize. Anxiety causes me to have cravings, too. Thanks for your honest writing about this. It helps to know others dealing with the same issues. I wish I could join my local CSA, but it’s expensive. I want to support local farmers and enjoy their wonderful organic produce, but it’s not affordable for me. We just do the best we can with what we have! Hang in there, and thanks for your great blog.

    [Reply]

    Starlene Reply:

    Hi Michele, thank you for your kind words and understanding. I’m glad that you can relate as well, thank you for sharing that with me. The nearest CSAs that I know of in my area are 25 or more miles away, and as you say, expensive. I also would like to support local farmers. I do have a garden, but I have had bad luck recently with the desert critters finding their way into my garden, which is set up like Fort Knox already. Thanks for visiting and commenting.

    [Reply]

  • Alicia

    Starlene, you have come so far! Be proud of where you are and you will continue, I am sure of it!

    I just finished reading the book and I am looking forward to starting.

    I ordered the fermented cod liver oil in capsule form…is that illegal? I don’t remember seeing anything about it in the book, but it sure makes it easy to take. I need to order some more…

    I will start blogging when I start…not sure when I will be doing it, hoping soon!

    Here is my blog:
    http://ourjourneythrough-life.blogspot.com

    Thanks for your posts!

    [Reply]

  • Charissa

    Hi Starlene,

    I just recently discovered GAPS and am planning on starting it with my family this summer, so that I won’t have to worry about packing lunches for my kids during the intro diet. I really enjoy your blog. You seem to be doing a great job. Did you start with the into diet? I agree prices have gone up, but the stress doesn’t help our bodies heal. I guess I just want to encourage you to stay focused, you are an inspiration, and we live in America, so we will most likely always be able to get food, even with high prices. Do what you can and keep us posted, your blog gives me hope,that i can do this too, I also think probiotics will really help you, I have taken them for years and they are very helpful.

    [Reply]

    Starlene Reply:

    @Charissa, hi there! That sounds like a good idea to wait until summer. I did not do intro first. I went from kinda/sorta healthy foods/eating SAD foods to full GAPS in December 2009. I did do intro in March of 2010. You are right, stress doesn’t help anything. My husband can hear all this stuff and he doesn’t seem to be affected by it, at least not like I am. Thank you for leaving a comment, I love hearing from y’all! 🙂

    [Reply]

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