Rough Week

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The three days that I have to go into work are becoming increasingly difficult for me lately. Ever since the Attack of the Jalapeno Peppers I have been dragging and having trouble sleeping at night. On the days I don't have to leave the house, this is not so hard on me as I can nap or sleep in. But when I cannot sleep on the nights I have to work, I find it nearly impossible to get up at 4am or even 6am. I've been working late, and getting home late, which means I am getting to bed late, and then it's even harder to get up in the morning. Thank the Lord that my boss is understanding and I am able to flex my time as needed.

I've been extremely stressed out because I am up against a deadline on a few things at work. Everything just seems to be converging at once. And things keep happening to stress me out! On Tuesday I thought my car caught fire. My husband came to rescue me and it turns out something was shorting out in the dashboard. Thankfully there was never more than smoke, but the fear of my vehicle catching fire was incredibly stressful.

I should have gone to bed and stayed there for the rest of the day, butI was asked to do the shopping for our upcoming event at work. Finally I was on my way to work by 8:30 and had to shop at four stores. One of the stores had just changed everything around so I had no idea where anything was, which caused me to have to walk back and forth through the store several times. I had to go to Costco and you know how big those stores are. Finally I got to work at 12:30. In hindsight I realized that I made a terrible mistake this day… I succumbed to a craving for dates, and ended up buying and eating too many dates. Too much carbohydrates and sugars. I had forgotten what a funk eating fruit can put me in.

On Wednesday I found a problem in our accounting system and could not figure out how to fix it. We use double entry accounting, and sometimes it is just a matter of reversing funds from one account to the next but this time when I reversed from one account to the next my trial balance was affected and I was really stressing out as to why this was happening. By around 5:30 I was dragging real bad. My husband had promised me he would be home each evening, but he wasn't when I got home which upset me pretty badly but I tried to not let it bother me. He called me from the store and said he was on his way home and he was bringing groceries home to cook dinner. I had not had anything to eat since noon and I'd gotten home at 7. By 8pm I was famished and scrambled myself some eggs [affiliate link] and went to bed. But I had a terrible time sleeping, I kept waking up in a panic. Finally around 2am my husband came to bed and I could not sleep. Finally at 4am I went into a rant that lasted until 6am. I verbalized to my husband about my stress level and how it was it surely going to kill me in my current state. Finally I ran out of steam and realizing it was 6am I knew that I could not go to work or I would completely melt down at work, so I called my boss and left her a voice message where I apologized profusely but told her I could not make it in without some sleep. Finally I drifted off to sleep and woke before my alarm went off at 10am.

I felt halfway alive, surprisingly. I got to work at noon, and started again trying to figure out the accounting problem. Part of the problem is we are doing our books manually and electronically and the two systems are just slightly different, enough that sometimes a problem comes up that completely confounds me. I can't assume it's my boss' fault but it has been at times, and so the thought of trying to figure out how to persuade her this is a problem, and how to fix it when I don't even know how just about put me into the nut house. I was actually thinking I was headed there on Wednesday.

Finally I figured out the problem with the accounting, it turns out that the way I had to enter it to keep our journal entries the same had caused a double entry on my part. I had never encountered that particular problem, so had no idea that it could even happen.

Boy I have to say once I figured that out, the weight lifted off my shoulders and it felt like a dark cloud moved away from me. I felt so much better I could hardly believe it. During my rant earlier that morning I had been talking about how I was glad I had life insurance. That's pretty bad.

That night was our event at work, and I got through it pretty good. My husband was home when I got home, we had dinner and we got to bed before midnight. I almost felt happy when I woke up this morning. My stress level plummets dramatically when he is home at night sleeping. I just wish I could get this through to him how important it is to sleep – not only to me, but to his health and well being as well.

So… it's been a rough week… next week I have my appointment with the naturopath. I've been reading the books a friend sent me, and I keep reading these stories about how people felt practically half dead until they started to support their thyroid and adrenals.

Also, one of my GAPS friends and I were talking, and she said it's hard to know what it feels like to have energy, if you've never had energy. I have had low energy all my life, but in my twenties and thirties I came to notice that a few days before my period I would have what I would call a “burst of energy”. This “burst of energy” would allow me to get some work done in the house. I would go and go and go for hours and get tons of work done, where normally I'd be dragging and could barely do anything at all.

I read Chris Kresser's post today called There's More to Health Than Food, and There's more to Life Than Health. He says:

I see a lot of people in my practice that have their nutrition completely dialed in, but donโ€™t take care of themselves in other ways. Maybe they donโ€™t manage their stress, they donโ€™t exercise, or they donโ€™t sleep well.


Chris doesn't mention getting your thyroid tested properly or other health issues, but as I read it, that's what I thought about. I thought about how I am not living life to its fullest right now. I need more than diet alone. How I wish that it were that easy for me, but apparently it's not (it makes me a little bit upset that GAPS alone has not addressed everything for me). I want to feel like getting up in the morning, I want to feel like exercising, I want to garden again. I want to have enough energy to clean my house. I want to feel that energy I used to feel when I had those bursts of energy. And something else I read of how people can think more clearly. I don't feel like I have brain fog, but maybe I do… maybe I will have more mental clarity once my thyroid is supported.

Well, I'll keep you updated.

In the meantime, I am dedicated to sticking with GAPS as I feel this way of eating is the best for optimum health. I have heard of people being on thyroid medication and having to lower the dosage. Maybe I just need a jump start and period of support, or maybe I'll have to be on support for the rest of my life. Either way, I want to have more energy and feel better. I am hoping in six months I will feel like a different person.


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6 thoughts on “Rough Week

  1. Hi Starlene,

    Somehow I forgot about your blog a while ago because… you know, life took over or something. Today I read your most recent posts. Wow! You had a lot of stress recently! I’m sorry for that! But it’s also an adrenal fatigue isssue because somebody with strong adrenals is able to handle all this stress without problems. I do hope you’re healing soon (thyroid and adrenals)! All my best!


  2. Hi @Saskia, you are so right! I was just telling my husband the other night I remember one time when I was 19 knowing that I coped very well in stressful situations and thrived on it in fact. The other thing is I think even though I don’t feel like I have brain fog anymore, I don’t think my brain is working as efficiently as it could be which is causing me to take longer than it should to complete anything I do that takes brain power. I’m glad you stopped by and commented, and I hope your life has been wonderful! ๐Ÿ™‚ Glad to hear from you again, Saskia! Best, Starlene

  3. I am right there with you… I’m finally blogging today so the post should go through tonight. It’s been stressful for me this week, too. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever heal my adrenal fatigue (if that is what I actually have) since I tend to stress subconsciously and how in the world do you turn that off??
    To a worry-free day and a good night’s sleep…

  4. @Magda, I had this conversation (yet again) with my husband this morning. I can’t see how I will be able to heal this adrenal fatigue unless the stress is cut in some way. Something has to change. I hope I don’t have to make some kind of drastic decision. Have you done a saliva test to see what stage you are at? I have to say that with proper adrenal support I feel calm. I can tell when my adrenals are being taxed because my brain starts in with everything. It’s as if the worries and concerns are lined up waiting to attack me when I’m vulnerable and then they start in on me. My brain goes from one issue to the next. This is how I felt in my first year on GAPS when I didn’t have these current stresses piled onto me, and it is so frustrating to me that these unnecessary (as far as I’m concerned they shouldn’t be happening!) stresses had to crop up. I will continue to update my progress. I know GAPS is awesome for healing, so maybe I just need a few little tweaks. My naturopath suggested Wilson’s Temperature Syndrome which I believe I’ve heard of but had not looked into. I got the book and it would sure be awesome if this was my problem as it seems possible to fix without having to be on medication for the rest of one’s life. I hope you got a good night’s sleep. It is sure hard when we have to work and get up the next morning and be “on” all day long even though we need a nap! Hang in there! We will make it through! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Starlene, I understand the stresses of life and am sorry this is all happening at once. ๐Ÿ™ One thought I had as I’ve been reading your posts, is that you are starting to go through menopause…right? I know that our adrenals have to take over for our ovaries when we go through menopause. You could be getting a double whammy right now with fluctuating hormones & under-functioning adrenals. Has your naturopath done testing on your estrogen, progesterone, & testosterone too? I think w/the right support, you could get through this season in life w/out feeling so overwhelmed. I myself had a partial hysterectomy a little over year ago…at age 34. Now, I am going through peri-menopause and have definitely seen a difference when I take my thyroid,adrenal, and progesterone therapy. There are definitely, “bumps” in this season of life that often feel like “mountains” but I have to remind myself that it is just that….a season & this too will pass. ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s not a perfect life like I’d envisioned, but in my case the alternative was worse than what I deal with now. Best wishes to you in your healing & search for answers. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. @Jenny, thank you for the kind words. I think we will look at the hormone levels that you mention but I had just come off the bio-identical hormones four weeks earlier at the time I had blood drawn, and my understanding is one should wait at least six weeks to test for accurate results. I was supposed to see my doctor this past Tuesday, but I was late getting one lab test done and the results weren’t back yet, so she asked if I would reschedule, so now it’s next Tuesday when I get to find out what’s going on with me. It seems that I am starting to go through menopause, but it could still be the lingering effects of the bio-identical hormones that are preventing my period from returning. I was on them for eight weeks straight… they told me after four weeks to take off the first week of the month to allow my body to have a period but I was concerned about how I would feel going off the cremes for seven whole days when I’d had such a rough time using only one dose a day (instead of two as recommended). The lady who was helping me with the cream (ordering and how to use) said it was okay to stay on the creams without a break if I wanted to really get the hormones built up in my system so I decided to just stay on without a break for a couple months. Of course then I ended up going off them because I found they had conflicting ingredients that were both raising and lowering cortisol at the same time… Another thing a friend and I were talking about is that people with normal adrenal and thyroid function take all this in stride. Hahaha. Like their car catching fire – just another day in the life. I am feeling a little bit excited about the coming months. I hope I will feel like a new person by spring of 2012. That’s my new goal. Thank you for the well wishes, and I wish you best of luck on your healing journey as well. ๐Ÿ™‚

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