I stepped on the scale on Tuesday the 24th, and I weighed 292. Good lord, why do I keep typing 292?! That's 192!
Then I stepped on the scale on Monday or was it Tuesday morning? I think it was Tuesday morning. I weighed 188.6.
My official “step on the scale” day is the 1st of each month, so I stepped on the scale this morning. Now I weigh 187.4.
My “official” weight loss: 44.6 pounds
Hmmm… I've been eating normally. In fact, on the last two days of vacation, I ate as much as I could to try to eat up the food we'd bought and would have to leave behind. I would have thought for the amount of beef jerky and dried fruit and nuts that I ate, that I would have gained. Although I did do a lot of walking.
Tonight for dinner I had Stuffed Bell Peppers. Tomorrow I'll share the recipe with you.
I'm still tired from our vacation. I guess it's normal to feel this way.
I've been trying to read Good Calories, Bad Calories: Fats, Carbs, and the Controversial Science of Diet and Health by Gary Taubes but an acquaintance has informed me that the book is complete nonsense. I don't know. It seems to make some sense. Perhaps I'm allowing the wool to be pulled over my eyes. It does seem that some kinds of calories affect us differently so that we are more hungry and want to eat more.
My mom and I were talking this afternoon, I don't remember exactly what was said and my mom said that it was my choice to do GAPS and to limit the foods I'm eating. That I could eat anything I want to eat, but I choose not to.
I told her it doesn't really feel that way. I guess it is my choice.
But it seems like I cannot eat anything I want. The price is pretty high for eating whatever I want. I did that for fifteen years and gained over 100 pounds.
I can't eat dairy or my sinuses become swollen and I can't breathe through my nose to sleep at night. If I eat carbohydrates I gorge like a starving dog and can't stop myself from eating which causes me to gain weight. It's uncomfortable being as big as I was. I just don't feel like I can eat anything I want.
I guess it helps my mom to not feel deprived when she tells herself she can eat anything she desires. Although she also cannot. She has eaten low carb and low fat for many, many years. Possibly for two decades.
I just feel like I'm lying to myself if I tell myself I can eat anything I want, but I just choose not to. What do you think? Do you tell yourself you can eat anything you want, but you just choose not to?