Last night I was nearly in tears because not only did my mayonnaise “break” but the stick blender toppled over, hitting the jar of ruined oil and egg yolk, which crashed to the floor and broke, spreading slivers of glass covered in slippery oil and egg yolk for three feet. Thank goodness I had shoes on, and thank goodness we had paper towels on hand. I usually try not to use them, preferring to use cloth dish towels.

I was looking forward to having my hamburger patty on a lettuce leaf, with some fluffy white mayonnaise. I was so close! I had added the oil slowly, slowly and the mayonnaise was beautiful, but then I added more and whoom. Broken.

The same way I was looking forward to it a few nights ago. So I was feeling really disappointed.

So my husband suggested I try again.

In spite of the fact that I'd just ruined one cup of oil and two egg yolks, I decided to do just that. Since my immersion blender was warm, and I didn't want to burn it out, I decided to use my blender. Slowly, slowly I dripped the oil into the egg mixture, and the mayonnaise emulsified. By that time, mayonnaise was flecking all over my glasses, my shirt, my face, so I put the lid on and tried slowly pouring the oil in a minute stream.

Within a minute, the mayonnaise broke again. I had only used about 1/3 cup of oil at that point, so I dumped the broken mayonnaise into the trash, put the remaining oil back into the container, and washed the blender jar.

Apparently, the mayonnaise I made last weekend was purely beginner's luck.

This site lists some ways to repair the broken mayonnaise, but I was not interested in wasting more ingredients.

I'm already feeling a sense of loss because I've decided I need to give up fruit for a few weeks. I am trying to approach it as an experiment, because that is truly what this all is. I have heard others say that their weight loss “stalled” and removing fruits, honey [affiliate link] and nuts helped them to continue losing.

My primary reason for doing GAPS is not to lose weight.

That said, I would like to continue to lose weight until I am at a more normal weight for my frame.

Back to the experiment… in March I was on Introduction and had hardly any fruit, nuts or honey. I lost twenty pounds.

In April, I added these foods back in, and enjoyed them. And lost three pounds.

I don't think twenty pounds weight loss in one month is necessarily a healthy amount of weight to lose in one month.

Three pounds a month is probably easier on one's body.

But I would like to see what happens if I give up fruit in the month of May.

Not being able to have fluffy white mayonnaise on my burger just made me feel sad and depressed. I know it's stupid to feel sad and depressed over mayonnaise, but I did.

I was kind of sad at work on Thursday because they ordered Mexican for lunch and I cannot have my old favorites, flour tortillas, cheese enchiladas, tacos, tostados, taquitos. Now my Mexican food choices are hot peppers with meat, or taco salad.

Then on Friday night, my son brought home a sub sandwich. Another of my long time favorites. I used to eat sub sandwiches as a healthy thing! Whole wheat bread, meat, lettuce.

Sigh.

I won't be making mayonnaise again until I do some more research.

I hope this FAIL post helps anyone else out there who feels like a failure in the kitchen. You're not. It's just that pesky beginner's luck makes us overconfident.

I was still hankering for something mayonnaise-like on my burger so I made some of my Avocado Mayo Dressing. It would not emulsify for me with only one avocado, but adding a second, it finally worked. Man, I am just not having any luck with mayonnaise today.

I also cheated last night. I had chipotles with my burger and the ingredients contain all kinds of illegals, namely soybean oil.