Day 16 – Breach

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It was an accident on my husband's part. He was trying to do something nice and made chicken soup for breakfast for ES. I was offered a bowl, and accepted it. The broth was delicious and the chicken breast was pretty tasty. It also had cut green beans and bright orange carrots. Then I got a piece of chicken that seemed like it had a layer of fried skin on it, and I braced myself for the sensation of fat in my mouth, and that was when I realized the chicken breast had a coating of flour on it. Dh says he found some chicken breast that YS had brought home from work, and he scrubbed off all the coating. <Alarm, panic!>

He didn't realize how strict I've been with my diet for the past 15 days. I've now ingested flour, and no telling what else was in the coating. MSG? I'll have to ask YS what was in the coating. I halfway suspect it was the chicken he cooked for himself last night, which was coated with Caesar's salad dressing.

Well, I didn't get much, so I guess it is my 1 teaspoon or so to see how it reacts in my body.

We talked again to ES this morning, as he was hacking and spitting, that we have to start eating a new way. We have been slowly cutting him down on pasta. I need to get into the cupboards and get rid of at least all the “white” pasta. Like me, he doesn't seem to like the wheat pasta as much. ES acted sad and distressed about our discussion. After dh made him the soup, he sat there and looked at it for a long time. Then he finally got up, went into the kitchen and started a pan with water heating, and came up with a small bag of macaroni. Dh and I looked at each other, now dh knows how I've felt for the past few months when I try to make something “nutritious” for ES and he goes and does his own thing. At least there was only about 1 to 1.5 cups macaroni in the bag. I just need to clear out the cupboards.

I don't want to make this any more of an issue than it needs to be. I do not feel it's fair to have food in the house that ES can cook and eat, if we don't want him to have it. He simply cannot conceive of why he can't have a certain food when it's right there. I would say he is probably at the level of understanding of a four year old in this regard. We are trying to explain to him that it will help him stop feeling bad.

More later.

After I stopped eating the soup I wasn't hungry for a while. Then I had a couple tablespoons of the liver concoction. It is nearly gone. I don't want to keep it around for too many days without freezing. I had a coconut milk [affiliate link] smoothie after that.

I forgot to mention in previous posts that I started taking my Cod Liver Oil again. Today will be day three if I remember to take it.

12:52. I also took Kava-Kava yesterday, and today. I am working from home today. My job should not be this stressful. My boss has been letting me work from home on Mondays, instead of driving 65 miles (one way) to her house because *she* works from home on Mondays. My normal drive is 50 miles (one way). The CEO came to my office on Thursday and asked me if I was going to be working at my boss' house “next week”. I said I would be working from home on Monday. He said, “Working from home?” He does not like for us to work from home. No matter if you get more work done, if you are trusted implicitly to get your work done, he doesn't like it.

I almost wish I had a diagnosis for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, because I think that would be a definite help in continuing to work from home. It makes my work day eight hours long, instead of eleven or twelve or thirteen (for the driving, getting dressed, etc.)

Okay. Well, nothing much to say right now. I will report back later though.

3:19pm. I was done with my work at 2pm. I am hungry now. YS made popcorn! I told him in exchange for making popcorn in an attempt to tempt me (he invited me to have some), he was going to have to help me clean my SUV. Besides, he already agreed to help me with that sometime this weekend. I have this really awesome parking spot at work, it is so wonderful during the summer when the interior of vehicles in Phoenix can reach temperatures of 200°F. The only problem is I have to park there every day I'm there, or I “lose” the spot, and during this time of the year the olive trees which I park under are frequented by birds, who love to eat the bitter things and then of course they poop black/purple all over my vehicle. My vehicle is 13 years old, soon to be 14, and the finish is still very nice. But I don't need to have olive bird poop making things any worse.

Then I have to milk. I'm hungry again. I need to find something to eat. Maybe some steamed vegetables.

More later. Maybe.

4:55pm. Back in from milking. YS helped me wash my truck. And what do you know, there's cloud cover. It may rain. That's okay. I really needed to get it cleaned.

I think I'm going to make some burgers for dinner, I guess fried foods really aren't appropriate but I'm too tired to think of anything else. I think I'll be steaming some cauliflower, too.


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One thought on “Day 16 – Breach

  1. believe me, you DO NOT want a diagnosis for CFS! I had that and it was like hell on earth. now i’ve got that tiredness, the same as you. i understand how you feel though, when people want to go out and expect you to be full of energy. but you can’t because you’re just so damn tired. and when they say ‘why?’, it’s not like you can say ‘oh, my gut is damaged..’ (as if they’ll take that as an excuse for tiredness!!) hang in there, you’re doing really well. i can only tolerate meat, meat fat and some veg, so you’re doing better than me!

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